Procrastination. It’s pervasive in our society.
Most of us don’t actually want to do what we believe it will take to accomplish our goals.
We use words like “have to” when discussing our resolutions. “I have to drop that last 15 pounds this year!”
Resolutions that start out with “have to” are mostly destined to fail. We don’t have the energy that we’ll need to succeed.
The key is to change the “have to’s” into “want to’s”. If we want to do something, we have the motivation and drive to make it happen.
For that reason, I tend to make resolutions throughout the year, as I decide I want to do things. If I feel I need to do something, but don’t yet want to, I try to find something within it that will make me want to do it. Otherwise, I simply don’t try.
This New Year’s, if you must set a resolution, focus on the why as opposed to the how. Plan to drop 10 pounds? Rather than “I have to lose weight,” focus on “I want to fit into my skinny jeans.”
Then find yourself an accountability partner to make it happen. And check in with them.
Speaking of – it’s time for me to check in with my accountability partner on the Career Bullseye workbook I have in progress. Time to change that “have to” into a “want to!”
Happy New Year, everyone! Go out there and conquer your goals!
Yesterday afternoon, I had plans to meet up with some friends and their babies. I was looking forward to it all day.
When the time came to leave, I saw that a couple of inches of snow had accumulated on the roads.
I live in Boston, so two inches of snow is no big deal – or at least, I thought, it shouldn’t be.
I bundled up my daughter and strapped her into her car seat. She was unusually quiet as we set off.
I gradually became aware of a growing feeling of sadness stirring from within. Why sadness, I’m still not sure, but I knew that something just wasn’t right.
I pondered my options for a moment, then turned around and headed home. When I reached the bottom of my street, my car spun out and I lost control, skidding in a semicircle across the width of the street.
Thank God, I thought. All of the variables that could have turned this trip into a disaster were absent. No other cars on the road, no tree in my way, no children in the street. No harm to my daughter, trusting me to keep her safe in the back seat.
All of us struggle with trust at one time or another. Many of us override our internal guidance systems in order to fulfill others’ expectations of us, whether in work or in life.
I certainly felt on some level that I had failed to follow through on my commitment to attend yesterday’s playgroup.
But when I circled back with the host, she told me a car accident that had taken place two blocks from her house.
That could have been me, I realized. If I’d not trusted my instincts.
I had the privilege of attending the Massachusetts Conference for Women yesterday, along with thousands of other women.
I look forward to this conference every year because it blends inspiration, tools and opportunities to connect with others.
We’ve all experienced good and bad conferences. Bad ones can feel like they’re sucking the life out of you. Some common traits: long sessions, insufficient breaks, and irrelevant or tired material and/or speakers.
When a conference is good, it can be seriously revitalizing. Why is that?
First, a good conference will present speakers who inspire you to challenge your own boundaries.
When we do the same thing day in and day out, it’s easy to predict more of that sameness stretching out into the future.
A good conference will feature at least one – but preferably many – person who has challenged their own (and therefore our) concepts of what is possible, and has achieved greatness.
Why is it so important for us to see successful people?
When we look at others who have achieved greatness, we are reminded of our own limitless potential.
That reminder helps us to stretch ourselves; challenges us to think of ourselves in a more expansive way.
Not so coincidentally, this is also what is so powerful about coaching.
When we set goals that are aligned with our dreams, no matter how impossible they may seem, we bring them into the realm of possibility.
The most inspirational speaker I saw yesterday was Judge Glenda Hatchett. She left each conference-goer with a challenge, which I’ll pass onto you (paraphrased):
Think of one thing you’ve always wanted to do, but have never done. What’s keeping you from doing it? Now get out there and make it happen!
I’m on it, Glenda!
To keep myself accountable, I’ll put it out there and engage my readers to hold me accountable, as a coach would.
I plan to write a book this year. I’ve begun working on The Other Baby Book with my friend Megan. You can learn more at www.theotherbabybook.com.
What’s your goal??