Transition times help us by bringing subconscious assumptions to our conscious minds.
When we make major decisions, it is important to get clear on who we are and what we want to create in the world.
This process isn't always straightforward, and the bumpier it is, the more clarity it can bring you, assuming you're up for riding the waves of unexamined beliefs.
Our beliefs - conscious or unconscious - shape our actions, which shape our results. So it's important to ask yourself about your beliefs in order to be a more conscious creator of your reality.
I'm in the process of deciding with my family what kind of school is best for my children, which is bringing up lots of unconscious assumptions to be evaluated and consciously chosen or discarded.
I'll take you through the process of a values decision through the lens of a school choice conversation, so that you can apply it to your own major (and minor) decisions:
1. To get clear, first identify the values that are important to you.
For me, the top values are:
Respecting others' inner knowing (especially children)
Self sufficiency (within a network of interdependence)
Respect for nature
Cultural lineage and identity
2. Next, prioritize the values in order of importance to you (or your family, partnership, etc) with your top values on top. Mine would look like this:
a. Respecting others' inner knowing (especially children)
b. Respect for nature
c. Self sufficiency (within a network of interdependence)
d. Cultural lineage and identity
3. Finally, look at the options you are considering and evaluate how well they match your values. Which option would be most aligned with your top values? You can even assign numerical scores to the options and add them up. (a = 4, b = 3, c = 2, d = 1)
School #1: d only = 1
School #2: a, b and c = 9
School #3: a, c, and d = 8
School #4: a, b, and c = 9
Then make your choice. If your gut instincts are not being factored into the number, see what they might have to tell you about this decision. Is there another value that is not being weighed here? Make sure to add it in.